Mojo Mom Podcast with Renee Trudeau and The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal

This week I continue my podcast conversations with Courageous Parents, Confident Kids book contributors, talking to Renee Trudeau about the absolutely essential need for mothers to practice self-care. Renee knows that it's not always easy to practice self care--we each live that challenge every day, and Renee provides a warm and wise voice to help support and guide us. What I love most about Renee's work is that she is committed to helping each woman unlock her own potential and talents, and showing us how to work together with other women to bring out the best in each of us.

Listen in to this week's show:



Renee Trudeau has written extensively about self-care in her book "The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal," and her training that teaches women how to form and facilitate their own Personal Renewal Groups. Podcast host Amy Tiemann has also written about self-care as a core principle in "Mojo Mom: Nurturing Your Self While Raising a Family." So these two have a lot to talk about!

Listen in to find out why mothers in particular have a hard time claiming their own self care as a top priority, why it's really important to learn how to do so, and how to get started. Then make sure you register on MojoMom.com to reserve a free digital download of the new book that is a collaboration between Amy, Renee, and 12 other experts, "Courageous Parents, Confident Kids--Letting Go So You Both Can Grow."

Sign up now and we'll send you a free digital download of the new book when it's released on April 19, 2010.

Free training on "Getting Kids to Listen:" March 18 webinar with Mojo Mom and Positive Parenting Solutions

"Getting Kids to Listen: The 5 R's of Fair and Effective Consequences"

You're invited to a complimentary webinar sponsored by Mojo Mom author Amy Tiemann Ph.D. and presented by Amy McCready of Positive Parenting Solutions.

Amy McCready and Amy Tiemann have collaborated on a new book, the anthology Courageous Parents, Confident Kids — Letting Go So You Both Can Grow, to be released this April. Now they are teaming up to bring you this new webinar, teaching concrete and effective strategies about Getting Kids to Listen.

Thursday, March 18, 2010, 9-10 PM (EST)

Who Should Attend: Parents of children ages 1-16 who want to learn concrete tools to effectively correct misbehavior without yelling, nagging or punishing.

What You'll Learn: Amy McCready, Founder of Positive Parenting Solutions will present a fun and interactive training session designed to teach you:

- Why kids really misbehave. The answer may surprise you.

- Positive Power... Why kids MUST have it & how to give it without “giving in.”

- Courageous Parenting... Holding kids accountable without being the bad guy.

- The 5 R's of Fair and Effective Consequences

- New resources to reduce parenting stress and feel more confident for any parenting challenge.

Date: Thursday, March 18, 2010

Time: 9:00 – 10:00 p.m. Eastern

Access: All you need is a computer with a speaker to hear the presentation. We'll send you the log in instructions.

Cost: No charge for participants at the live event! The webinar recording will be available for purchase for those who could not attend the live presentation for $29.95.

Please feel free to invite other parents who want to learn proven tools to reduce their parenting stress.

Note Taking Guide: Print this Note Taking Guide (PDF) so you can follow along and get the most out of the webinar.

How It Works: You'll receive an email confirmation with the link to access the webinar. When you "enter" the webinar, you'll see the session slides on your screen as well as a video box to see the presenter and a chat box to type questions or make comments.

While you can see the presenter, no one can see you. You will be able to "go to class" from the comfort of your home and learn how you can reduce parenting stress and feel more confident in the most important job you will ever have.

RSVP: Register now at PositiveParentingSolutions.com

We'll see you at the Webinar! --Amy Tiemann and Amy McCready

Suze Orman Show on what happens to overindulged kids when they grow up. (Hint: It's not pretty.)

Suze Orman provides a lot of great resources for women and money, including her book by that name, just out in paperback, which I recommend. Even though Suze does not have kids herself, she is usually right on target when it comes to the psychology of women, money, and parenting.

Last Saturday's show, January 23 2010, has one of the most striking examples I've ever seen of what happens to helicopter parents and their overindulged kids in the long run. I dare say it makes the case for both of my books, Courageous Parenting and Mojo Mom, in stark terms.

The Suze Orman Show is now available as a free, full-episode podcast, so you can check it our for yourself. Here's a link to the show's podcast list, and it is also available free through the iTunes podcast directory.

Suze's first segment on her show with the theme, "People First, Then Money, Then Things," clarifies that when Suze says "People First," she means taking care of yourself first, not taking care of everybody else, as some people misinterpret it. Suze's first guest is a woman named Donna, who is 43 years old and in conflict with her 24-year-old son. Her son is taking complete advantage of her, and as the details come out, the story just keeps getting worse. Her son is living in Donna's home, rent-free. He got into credit card debt, and made a "settlement" with the credit card company, but guess who paid off the settlement? Mom and Dad. And now her son has stopped paying Donna back, and is telling HER that "he doesn't like her attitude" when she ask him to pay her.

And there's more....Donna earns $1600 a month. Her son makes $3500 a month. He's just asked his girlfriend to marry him. He bought her a $5000 engagement ring...paying with a credit card.

Suze tells Donna that she has to kick her disrespectful son out of house to make it on his own. Donna has given her whole life away to her son, she's subsidizing her high-earning yet irresponsible adult son to the point where has no savings and no retirement account for herself. Suze believes that the rest of Donna's life cannot turn around until Donna stands up for herself and gains back some power, self-respect, and respect from others.

Donna admits that she's spoiled her three kids rotten all their lives. She stayed home with her kids and she's struggling to learn how to "take care of Mama now." I intuit that she is not sure who she is anymore without her mothering role. She seems unable to make the switch between a mother's role to care for her child, to an adult-adult relationship, holding her adult son accountable for himself, and holding herself accountable for her own well-being.

Suze says, "It's not about saying yes. It's not about giving always. It's about taking care of yourself first....You, like every woman out there, you really think the definition of a good mother is to make sure that the kids have everything...even if that means it renders you powerless. They're not bad kids. You weren't a bad mother. You just didn't think you mattered."

That's a powerful statement. Let's remember that we matter, and build the structure of our lives around that fact. I had already been thinking a lot about the fact that self-care is not indulgence, it looks a lot more like discipline. If taking a candle-lit bubble bath once in a while would solve our problems, they would have been solved a long time ago. I'll be writing more about this in my next blog post so stay tuned.

Close encounters with Carol Brady, Mom-in-Chief, Mojo Mom and a Literary Mama

After I left Berkeley last week and headed down to Santa Cruz for the rest of my trip to California, I had very poor internet access, so I am sorry I was not able to blog sooner about what happened backstage at The View from the Bay.

If you remember, Jamie Woolf and I were there to talk about our upcoming anthology Courageous Parenting, but behind the scenes we were also trying to meet pop-culture icon Florence Henderson, Carol Brady herself, who was also on the show that day.

Jamie got up close and personal with her! Don't they both look great?


Florence was being whisked by while I was in the chair getting my makeup put on, and I just couldn't jump up to go meet her. But I could see her and Jamie in the mirror. Jamie was nice and bold and gave Florence a copy of her book Mom-in-Chief, which Ms. Henderson accepted with enthusiasm. She really seemed nice and embraced her lifelong role as Gen X's Mom.

But even though I missed out on that, not only am I proud of Jamie for getting right out there, but we also had the treat of running into Caroline Grant backstage. She is the Editor-in-Chief of the wonderful Literary Mama website, and she was on the show to talk about a reading list of recommended books for kids ages 3-12. There was some drama about a mistake in the schedule and whether she'd get on, which she wrote about with good humor in her blog. But we had a nice chat backstage and I have to say Caroline took it all in stride, and she did get on and was very poised in her segment.


So there we are, three writers in our own right. I felt like I was in an alternate universe, since I used to live in the Bay Area, and here Jamie and Caroline were talking about writing groups and other cool events, and I thought that if I still lived there I would love to spend more time hanging out with them, and Joan Blades, co-founder of MomsRising.org, who was gracious enough to host me while I was in town.

All in all it was a really fun day, and I hope you'll check out the video of our Courageous Parenting segment.

Courageous Parenting on The View from the Bay

I just have time to post the video of Jamie Woolf and myself talking about Courageous Parenting and "Four Easy Steps to Stop Over-Parenting" on The View from the Bay.

It was great to come to San Francisco and get to be on the show with Jamie, and talk to hosts Spencer Christian and Janelle Wang.

More details to come....

Mojo Mom, Mom-in-Chief, and Mrs. Brady on The View from the Bay today

I was already really excited to appear with my friend Jamie Woolf on the TV show The View from the Bay today at 3 pm in San Francisco. We'll be talking about our forthcoming book Courageous Parenting and sharing practical ways that real-life moms and dads can break overparenting habits. I believe that as parents think about taking a new path it's important to talk about the vision of where to go, as well as steps that lay out how to get there. We cover both in depth in the new book, coming out in March.

I hope a whole bunch of View from the Bay viewers will stop by and sign up for our Courageous Parenting free e-book offer.

And as if that wasn't already enough fun, having Mojo Mom and Mom-in-Chief together on this show, I just found out that Florence Henderson will be on as well -- Carol Brady herself! If that's not a divinely aligned motherhood event, I don't know what is. As many fellow Gen Xers will appreciate, I was addicted to the Brady Bunch for my whole childhood and used to be able to pretty much quote the whole thing.

My goal is to get a photo with her. We're on different segments but I hope to bump into her in the Green Room. Check back tomorrow to find out whether I succeeded!

Mojo Mom's thoughts on the 2000's--learning that we're all in this together.

Right now I am consumed by the whirlwind that always accompanies the final stages of editing of a new book. I can't wait to share the new anthology Courageous Parenting with you, but the one temporary downside is that during this final push I don't have a lot of time for blogging. But I did want to share a few end-of-decade thoughts about what I learned in the 2000s.


Amy as a proud, tired, happy new Mom with her cute little schmoo in fall 1999.
It's interesting to see my personal journey as a mother develop together with my professional development. When I became a new Mom in late 1999 I looked at the world through a thoroughly individualistic perspective. I really thought that I needed to show how I could "do it all" myself. Even as I learned to embrace the participation of family and friends, I still thought that motherhood was mostly about me and my personal life choices as one woman. I felt that I chose to leave my teaching career, and without even realizing it, I was constructing a life story that put me firmly in the driver's seat. This was actually a pretty functional way of thinking that worked for me in the short term, but as I lived through all of the challenges of motherhood, and thought about what other women faced, I realized that I was missing the big picture.

When the original "Opt-Out Revolution" narrative first came along, saying that educated mothers were choosing to leave the workforce, it made sense to me, if I looked at my life as a rugged individualist. My teaching career just "didn't work" any more so I chose to leave. My personal situation was complicated by a cross-country move, that made it seem even more natural that I didn't return to my job, and I was fortunate that my family could afford to live on my husband's salary.

But even as I started to write Mojo Mom all on my own way back in 2003, not really knowing any other writers, and without the benefit of blogging, which had not exploded yet, I started to see that motherhood wasn't just all about me as one person.

I started to think about what it meant that work "didn't work" for me as a mother of a young child. How much of this was my individual choice, versus larger social structures that ranged from my family, to employers' attitudes and policies, to public policy, most notably the fact that American women don't even have paid maternity leave?

My husband's job was all-encompassing at the time, which did not leave a lot of room for me to work any kind of traditional schedule. And the idea of truly-flexible, valuable part time jobs didn't seem plausible. I craved a new professional, creative outlet, and I had a renewed interest in writing, so I reinvented myself as an author.

I was fortunate to be able to do so, but even though this worked for me, the dangers and fallacies of the Opt-Out storyline started to come to into focus for me. First of all, most women and mothers need to work for basic financial reasons. So the idea that motherhood = not employed is a worrisome one, because the workforce truly needs to figure out how to retain us and stop punishing us for being parents--specifically, mothers, because fathers are more respected in the workforce and are often assumed to have a wife who can do the majority of the caregiving. As Opting Out? author and sociologist Pamela Stone has pointed out, too often, parenthood means that fathers step on the accelerator of their careers and mothers step on the brakes. For women of Gen X and Y this can create a major fork in the road that has lifelong consequences.

Also, taking an off-ramp from paid work can leave women in career limbo and financial jeopardy. I hope that in the 2010s we'll find better solutions for building more on-ramps. Life is long, and women in particular should expect to have several careers interwoven with seasons of caregiving.

So as these challenges accumulated it became incredibly clear to me that no one is truly a "rugged individualist," and we are all in this together. As I was completing the first edition of Mojo Mom I started to think, "What we need is a social movement. Damn, am I going to have to try to start one?" Fortunately for all of us, MomsRising.org burst onto the scene. I could instantly see that founders Joan Blades and Kristin Rowe-Finkbeiner were well positioned to launch an activist revolution, and I've done my best to support their work because it is spot-on, working to end job discrimination against mothers, to get health care coverage for all children, and other key advocacy goals.

Joan and Kristin also started their work together by writing a book, The Motherhood Manifesto, which I highly recommend.

So from being one aspiring writer, working in near-secret on my own, to getting the updated 2009 edition of Mojo Mom published, working with other writers, and participating in MomsRising's grassroots movement with a million members, I have come a long way in the 2000s.

And as my appreciation of cooperation of mothers has grown, my next book is, voila, an anthology, with chapters written by fourteen talented experts! I had spent years getting to know other writers, reading their books, appreciating their work, and doing Mojo Mom Podcast interviews--now the circle of experts who I have come to think of as a special group in my mind are really collaborating on the new book, Courageous Parenting, which will be a comprehensive guide exploring how to end overparenting, and carve out a new, healthier path to independence for our kids and ourselves.

The power of collaboration is truly amazing. I have spent several years cultivating these connections, but once I had the idea for the anthology and recruited my contributors, we decided to launch the book in a fast and timely matter. The anthology will be current as of January 2010 and will launch in early spring. To me this is the best combination that takes advantage of the immediacy of blogging while preserving the substance of book writing.

As my blog readers you've been an important part of my entire journey as well. Books take a long time to writer, and my life as a writer improved greatly after blogging enabled me to connect with my readers. So to say thanks to you, I will be offering a free digital download of the new anthology "Courageous Parenting" to anyone who signs up on MojoMom.com before the book is published.

I hope you will sign up now, so that I can send you a free complete electronic copy of the new book when it's released this spring.

Mojo Mom on The Parent's Journal with Bobbi Conner

I love good radio, and last spring when I did my radio tour for the new edition of Mojo Mom, the nationally-broadcast public radio show The Parent's Journal with Bobbi Conner became one of my favorites. Bobbi invited me back on the December 16th episode to talk about "Everyday Routines and Strategies for New Moms." And Dr. Michele Borba is on the same show too, so it should be a good one.

You can download the podcast from The Parent's Journal website.

The Parents Journal 120909-One Hour Show

The Parent's Journal Broadcast 12-09-09 One Hour Show

The Parent's Journal Topics & Guests (start times in parentheses)
Clever Ways to Get Toddlers and Preschoolers to Share – Dr. Borba (01:00)
Everyday Routines and Strategies for New Moms – Dr. Tiemann (06:00)
Parent’s Notes - A Practical Parenting Tip from a Mom or Dad (25:13)
Promoting Healthy Habits/Lifestyles – Joseph Califano (29:00)
What Expectant Moms Can Do to Help Prevent Premature Birth - Dr. Cole (51:15)

The Happiest Mom interviews Mojo Mom about Work & Money

I am in the editing zone this week as we put the finishing touches on the Courageous Parenting manuscript. It is a lot of work and we are trying to make sure we give everyone time off for the December holidays. So I am behind in my blogging. But--thankfully I have a great guest post for today. Meagan Francis of The Happiest Mom blog recently interviewed me on the topic of Moms, Work & Money. I think the interview turned out really well, if I do say so myself, and Megan has given me her blessing to repost it here.

Meagan is definitely an empathetic mojo sister, and I hope you'll check out all of her writing on The Happiest Mom.


Meagan Francis' interview with Amy Tiemann:

Since Amy’s an advocate of moms empowering themselves with financial and career security, I figured she’d be a great person to interview as a follow-up to my [Meagan's] post on moms and financial security. Here are Amy’s thoughts on work, money, and how moms can–and why they should–take steps to protect themselves.

Meagan: Moms and their career/financial security is something you’ve written about quite a bit. Why do you think it’s such an important topic?

Amy: Whatever our best-laid plans are, Moms always need a backup plan. The current economic crisis has highlighted this reality. Any of us could be called on to increase our earnings or become the primary breadwinner for our family, on short notice. And in the long run, women need to plan for long lives, and the safety nets in place do not give women credit for their caregiving years. For example, my mother was a stay-at-home Mom until she and my Dad divorced after about 20 years of marriage. That was 25 years ago, yet now that she has become a Senior, the echoes of that are coming back into play. Because of her pattern of employment and lower lifetime earnings, her monthly Social Security check is about half of what my Dad’s is. And that will continue for the rest of their lives.

Life is long and a lot can happen! None of us can afford not to think about our present and future security.

Meagan: I think sometimes it’s hard to think too much about our financial security as moms. We don’t want to seem as though we don’t trust our spouses to do right by us, or live as though we’re waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under us. Any words of advice for moms who are hesitant to advocate for their own needs and futures?

Amy: That’s a great question. We need to be full and active parters when it comes to financial planning. It’s the responsible thing to do and it’s good for the whole family. If a husband gets laid off, it’s good for him if his wife has a job to go to. If a father dies, of course he would want his family to be taken care of. We don’t like to think of the things that can go wrong but as parents we have to be adults who are willing to prepare for all situations.

Also, I have encountered sexism within the financial planning and estate planning industries. You cannot assume that lawyers or financial planners have your best interests at heart. You have to get in there and know what is going on, challenge assumptions, and advocate for yourself. I have had estate planners try to set up trusts that would have put our family’s assets totally under my husband’s control. I trust my husband, but it’s just not fair to set it up that way. The lawyers had been doing what seemed expedient and convenient, and it would have been a huge mistake for me to let that happen. I put the brakes on the process and made the lawyers create two trusts, one that we each controlled. And after that, we got new lawyers.

So make sure that all the advisors in your life see you as an active participant in the process. And if they don’t do so, find a new advisor or lawyer.

Meagan: Any practical tips to help at-home moms stay engaged and connected to the working world?

Amy: Keep networking in your public persona! I have gotten jobs that resulted from friendly schmoozing with people in the preschool parking lot because I was enthusiastic about my work. Moms are natural networkers but sometimes we forget to include our professional identity in our self-presentation. I recommend staying in touch with your professional contacts, and setting up lunch at least once a month where you show up dressed for work and ready to talk about your field. Of course, you should also keep up to date on any professional reading you need to do. The same strategy can apply if you are trying to break into a new field. Start studying, learning, and connecting. I am a big fan of continuing education programs offered by local colleges, which might meet once a week in person, or even online.

Meagan: What about working moms who feel the need to rein in their careers for a while–is it possible to still have the career you dreamed of, even if you take a year or three off or scale way back?

Amy: You have to be prepared to take your career into your own hand. We’re in a tough position because there is only so much we can do as individuals to ensure that enlightened employers will be willing to create a path back for us. We don’t have the social supports that would really help, starting with paid parental leave for Moms and Dads. So this is why I do two things: I support MomsRising.org, which advocates for the family-friendly policies I believe we need, and I also encourage all women to learn about entrepreneurship. If the traditional working world won’t accommodate you, how can you create a role for yourself? One of my friends is a mother of three young boys and a veterinarian. She created her own mobile veterinary practice that allows her total control of her schedule, reduces her overhead because she has a van and makes house calls, rather than running a traditional practice, and serves her clients extremely well. That’s the kind of creative solution we need to explore.

Meagan: What are some vital ways moms can take care of themselves financially, even if they aren’t currently earning an income?

Amy: Become involved in your family’s financial planning as I mentioned above. Research your own Social Security credits and know the long-term implications of taking time out of the workforce. Make sure your family is saving up for a six to eight month emergency fund. That is urgently important in this recession, especially as access to credit is being cut off.

Meagan: In your book MojoMom, you share advice on “creating a lifelong career path”. Can you share a little about your own lifelong career path, and the role motherhood has played in it?

Amy: I have been very fortunate to be able to take my skills and apply them to new areas. I used to do brain research, which might sound worlds away from being an author, but writing my Ph. D. thesis taught how to research a complex topic, and proved to myself that I could follow through on a very difficult project. I taught high school for three years, which was excellent experience in public speaking to a general audience. Now, when I talk to Moms’ groups, someone often asks, “Do you get nervous speaking to big groups?” and I can say, “Hey, my job used to be to convince sixteen-year olds that chemistry was interesting–at 8 am! You are here because you want to be, so this is fun!” For the record, I really liked teaching, too, but I chose not to keep up that schedule after my daughter was born and my family moved across the country. Women reinvent themselves all the time. So for the lifelong career path, don’t peg yourself too closely with one role of job title. Learn to value the skills you have and think about how to use those skills in a variety of job settings.

I've been in the hive not in a cave... And, here is why we need Courageous Parenting

It's Friday, again, already? Hard to believe. I know my blogging has suffered from infrequent-itis lately, but I wanted to tell you it's because I've been as busy as a bee in a hive, not hibernating like a bear in a cave.

What's been keeping me so busy behind the scenes? The new Courageous Parenting anthology, of course. I am working with 14 talented contributors, and now we've brought on board our intrepid editor Lacey, working with me and my loyal project manager Patty, to pull this whole thing together.

I am so grateful that I don't have to do any of this alone! Lacey and I are really getting into the heart of the book, working on individual chapters as well as creating a coherent whole.

I'll reveal the whole roster of contributors on Monday, but today I keep thinking about why we need Courageous Parenting. We live in a disproportionately fearful time, although our children and families are actually growing up in quite a safe era. We live in an overly child-centric society, yet our kids eventually need to grow up and become independent. They aren't just going to wake up as capable and competent young adults on their 18th birthdays: we need to give them skills and life experience to be prepared to be independent.

Courageous Parenting aims to give parents those skills and strategies they need to grow up independent kids, and also the courage to work on our own development. Because for our kids to feel good about leaving the nest, it helps to know that we have our own lives and are not totally dependent on motherhoood to create our identities and happiness.

I am a big fan of Sarah Haskins and her Current TV show Target Women. This week's parody is not only funny, it's a brilliant dissection of the way we are sold fear on a daily basis.



In Mojo Mom, I wrote about unpacking our guilt and examining it, looking for the true signals that indicate there is something we need to change, and discarding the rest as unhelpful baggage. It's time we do the same for worry and fear. True fear signals are vital signs to listen to, but our society has become overrun with a constant static blast of worry, much of it broadcast in the style of those Broadview Security ads in the Target Women video.

In Courageous Parenting, we aim to give you solid information, inspiration, and skills that will increase your family's capacity for joy and exploration, without so much worry getting in the way.

Sign up on the www.MojoMom.com home page to receive a free e-book of the new Courageous Parenting anthology when it comes out in early 2010!

What's next for Mojo Mom? A new anthology and free e-book giveaway!

Mojo Mom sets her sights on new horizons....

The time has come for me to ask "What's next?" Now that Mojo Mom: Nurturing Your Self While Raising a Family, has been released in its revised second edition, that book really and truly feels complete. So what's next for me?

As my daughter grows up through her tween years, I myself am moving beyond the questions of new motherhood to the next phase of discovery for my life, and my parenting questions have become more focused on her growing independence.

So I wanted you to be the first to hear that my next big project is a new anthology written on the theme of Courageous Parenting, to be released in paperback and e-book form next March. We'll explore from many angles how we can live our lives with courage rather than fear. To enable our to kids grow up and away from us, rather than hovering too closely as "helicopter parents," we may need to develop some new knowledge and skills to approach our kids' growing independence.

I am the editor of the project and I had the pleasure of inviting the anthology contributors who will serve as our expert guides along the way.

This is a really cool opportunity to bring together many of my favorite authors into one book. You've heard them as guests on The Mojo Mom Podcast: Maya Frost of The New Global Student, Melissa Stanton of The Stay-at-Home Mom Survival Guide, personal safety expert Irene van der Zande of Kidpower, and Jamie Woolf of Mom-in-Chief, to name just a few.

Next week I will announce the complete list of anthology contributors here on the Mojo Mom blog.

But in the meantime I wanted to let you know that we'll be kicking off the book announcement with a live online chat next Wednesday, October 21, from 1 to 2 pm ET on TheMotherhood.com

Cooper Munroe and Emily McKhann are the co-founders of TheMotherhood.com and they'll be writing a Courageous Parenting chapter based on this chat, which will bring in their community members and I hope, YOU.

All you have to do to participate is to sign up as a user on TheMotherhood.com and then click on this link at the chat time to join in:

Courageous Parenting: We're Writing the Book Chapter Here!

You can drop by any time between 1 to 2 pm ET to add your voice to this conversation and tell us, what does Courageous Parenting mean to you?

There is one more really exciting thing to tell you about the anthology: thanks to the gift of modern technology, I can offer every member of the MojoMom.com community a free copy of the e-book version of Courageous Parenting. By signing up to receive the free Mojo Mom Party Kit and Quiz on MojoMom.com, you'll also receive an invitation to claim a copy of the e-book when it comes out. New people who sign up to join the MojoMom.com community before the book is released will also be eligible. This is my way of saying thank you for your interest in my work. Your support has meant a lot over the years as I have grown into a writer!

Kim Clijsters, Comeback Mom of the Decade!

I am so inspired by Kim Clijsters and her remarkable comeback run to win her second U. S. Open tennis title. After retiring two and a half years ago, she's not only bounced back from injuries and burnout, she's the mother of an adorable toddler. She's the first Mom to claim a major tennis title since Evonne Goolagong won at Wimbeldon way back in 1980. During the tournament's rain delays, they replayed parts of Clijsters' 1999 match with Serena Williams, and it was evident that with her comeback, Clijsters is now playing better than ever.

I had to post this photo, because it's amazing, and also because it was taken by one of my former high school students, Josh Haner, who now works for The New York Times. I am proud of his stellar career...and more than a little jealous that he got to cover the tennis finals. But thanks to him we now have this indelible image to mark Kim Clijsters' victory.

Whether you are a tennis player or not, it's worth thinking about how Kim Clijsters' unconventional and highly successful comeback can inspire us all.

The sun came back out today

I am feeling so much better today. Thanks to the readers and friends who wrote me to offer their empathy. It means a lot. And venting on the blog really did make me feel better. Today I woke up more energized and ready to tackle what lay ahead of me, even though the challenges are still there.

This morning I interviewed Melissa Stanton, author of The Stay-at-Home Survival Guide, and that podcast will go up Friday.

And speaking of podcasts, this Saturday March 7th I'll be giving away an iPod Nano to one of my Facebook Page fans. So I hope you'll become a fan!

Also, on Goodreads.com I am offering a book giveaway--ten winners will receive a signed copy of the new Mojo Mom, to be awarded April 7th, the day the new book comes out.

All to say thanks for reading my blog and listening to my podcast, and I hope you'll help spread the word about the new book!

So many brain/decision books

Here's a trendlet I have noticed lately--brain books about how we make decisions.

It reads like a cultural prescription for a cure to our country's GW Bush ("The Decider") hangover.

How We Decide by Jonah Lerher caught my eye because it has three different flavors of ice cream cones on the cover, and I have found that is a deeply ingrained example of "choice"--it just keeps coming up as an example. (Which also explains to me why the concept of "choice" is a weak label for really important things such as reproductive rights; but that's a full post for another day).

People who bought How We Decide could also choose from Blunder: Why Smart People Make Bad Decisions, Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions, The Drunkard's Walk: How Randomness Rules Our Lives, Sway: The Irrestistible Pull of Irrational Behavior, and Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness.

Are we a people in search of certainty, or what? And is this the new self-help?

In this genre (tangentially related, at least) the book I am most likely to actually read is Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers: The Story of Success, which I have heard is entertaining, if anecdotal.

Hmmm, I've got that Ph. D. in Neuroscience. How can I spin Mojo Mom as a brain-based decision-making book...? There is a chapter on "Reclaiming Your Mind Space."

Calling all stay-at-home Moms--your input is needed for the new Mojo Mom

I am blown away by the responses I received from employed Moms after I asked for their input for the new edition of my book. Dozens of Mojo Mom readers wrote me to share their stories. Thank you! Your thoughtful, articulate, honest responses are helping me write a better book. And, on a personal level, it was gratifying to connect this way with my readers, as though my book was talking back to me. I really appreciated hearing your voices.

I feel confident that my book already contains a lot of information for stay-at-home Moms, but your enthusiastic reader response has encouraged me to pose a similar set of questions Mojo Moms who are currently not participating in the paid workforce, so that I can round out a balanced selection of up-to-date personal stories and tips.

We all face many similar challenges, and I am fully aware that being "at work" or "at home" is not necessarily a one-way street. But it is helpful for me to gather information from many different life paths to share in the new Mojo Mom, as well as my blog and possible follow-up articles to support the new book.

Please email your responses directly to me, amy@mojomom.com The deadline for me to consider input is October 17, but sooner is better!

Please be brief but as specific as possible in your responses.

Please tell me your name:
Job titles you have had:
Number of kids, gender, and ages:
Phone number for follow up, if necessary:

One theme of Mojo Mom is sharing information you wished you had, but didn't know ahead of time. Is there any "If only I had known...." wisdom you'd like to share with other Moms?

What are the biggest challenges of being at home?

What are the most significant benefits?

What kinds of support are key to "making it all happen"?

Is there support you don't get that would be extremely helpful?

Do you have plans to rejoin the paid workforce? If so, please describe. What would motivate you most strongly to look for a paid job? Do you perceive any barriers to returning to work, and if so, what would help you overcome them?

Did you experience an identity crisis after becoming a Mom? What did it feel like for you?

What is the most important thing you do for yourself? In other words, what aspect of self-care is so important that you make it a top priority?

Is there anything else you want to share with other women going through the transitions of motherhood?

Thank you so much for your input. I will email you to verify your quote if it's included in the book.


P. S. The employed Moms questionnaire is still active as well, so I am welcoming responses from all Moms.

Employed Moms--your response has been amazing!

I've heard from dozens of employed Moms since I posted my request for your stories and advice on Wednesday. My inbox filled up with the most thoughtful, heartfelt emails within hours of my inquiry. I am so moved by your sharing, and the idea you would drop what they were doing to take the time to write about your experience. It reaffirms the power of telling our stories. As one Mom wrote, What a relief to say all this out loud! Okay, not so out loud. But still, I think that’s why your work is so important in my view. How many of us actually get the chance to say it all out loud?

I have walked the path of being at at-home Mom for three years and then becoming a full-time writer when my daughter unexpectedly ended up in full-day preschool rather than half-day (she would take an afternoon nap at school but not at home).

So I have a good personal understanding of the early transformations of motherhood from a SAHM perpective, and the preschool years and beyond as a working Mom. In the new edition of Mojo Mom I am trying to close the gap between Moms. Motherhood is rewarding and difficult for each of us, in our own way. I felt a bit of a mental block when it came to writing about going back to work after a short maternity leave--I felt a little presumptuous trying to explain it since I hadn't experienced it myself. Looks like I still had my own mental gap to close.

But I decided that I had to get over that block, and the solution was to turn to you, my readers, and ask you to share your wisdom and experiences. Thank you so much for your contributions. I hope that I can tap into my own mojo and journalistic expertise to do justice to your stories.

You'll see the results in the new book!

Calling all employed Moms--your input is needed for the new Mojo Mom

As you may remember, Gotham Books will be publishing a revised and updated edition of Mojo Mom: Nurturing Your Self While Raising a Family next spring.

When I wrote the original book, most of the women I interviewed were employed Moms, but at the time, I was personally coming off several years of being out of the workforce. Now that I have the chance to write a new edition of Mojo Mom I would like to make sure that my writing is even more inclusive of the working Mom perspective and experience. I would love to get your input!

I am focusing on the challenges and benefits of the back-to-work transition, and I invite you to answer the following questions by email, and possibly a follow-up phone interview, to share your perspective in the new "Mojo Mom."

You can get the conversation started by leaving a comment on my blog, or email me at amy@mojomom.com (Comments work best for short responses, email if you really get into writing.) The deadline for me to consider input is October 15, but sooner is better!

***
Please be brief but as specific as possible in your responses.

(If you respond by email, please provide the personal information, but don't leave it as a blog comment, to protect your privacy.)
Please tell me your name:
Job title:
Number of kids, gender, and ages:
Phone number for follow up, if necessary:

How long was your maternity leave, and was it paid, unpaid, FMLA mandated?:

One theme of "Mojo Mom" is sharing information you wished you had, but didn't know ahead of time. Is there any "If only I had known...." wisdom you'd like to share with other Moms?

What were the biggest challenges of going back to work?

What were the most significant benefits (personally as well as professionally)?

What kinds of support, at work and home, were key to making it happen?

Is there support you didn't get that would have been extremely helpful?

Did you experience an identity crisis after becoming a Mom? What did it feel like for you?

What is the most important thing you do for yourself? In other words, what aspect of self-care is so important that you make it a top priority? (For example, I know I'll be okay if I can just make sure that I exercise, eat well, or know that I'll be getting together with a friend on Friday.)

Is there anything else you want to share with other women going through the transitions of motherhood?


Thank you so much for your input!

I turned in my manuscript!

I hit the "send" button about an hour ago to turn in my new Mojo Mom manuscript.

It feels good to be done (for now!) and I am absolutely exhausted. The past four days were a long push to the finish.

I need to rest my tingling typing hands and my fried neural circuits, but first I will say that I think the new version of Mojo Mom is going to be really good. It contains a ton of brand-new material and my hope is that it will feel like a new book--while retaining the qualities that made the original book special.

Thank you for your support along the way!

Last chance to get Mojo Mom until Spring 2009

We are reaching important publication milestones for the new and revised edition of Mojo Mom, and the original edition is going to go out of print very soon. This means that it will no longer be available from retail outlets including bookstores and Amazon.com. My new work will be published by Gotham Books in Spring 2009.

So if you were thinking about getting the first edition for yourself or as new Mom gifts, please order books now. As much as I love bookstores, at this point we are so close to taking all copies out of print that Amazon is probably the best bet since Mojo Mom is currently in stock there.

The new book is going to be great--I am so excited to have the chance to update my work. But the first edition will always have a special place in my heart. I love the original cover, because I think it's an inviting image that captures the essence of mojo.

Coming up with images for Mojo Mom has been a challenge. In fact, I wrote about the process I went through when designing my website, even before the book was finished, in my very first blog post, "What Does a Mojo Mom Look Like?" way back in 2003. When it came time to publish the book, I got pretty far into cover concepts with one designer, but those drafts were not coming close to hitting the mark, so I switched gears to work with Dunn + Associates Design.

Collaborating with Kathi Dunn, I felt like she was able to conjure up an image that was in my mind that I did not even know existed. It's hard to describe, but it was truly one of those rare experiences that felt like a synchronistic mind meld! For example, Kathi used an unusual font for the words "Mojo Mom" that very closely matched the words "Honor Your Dreams" etched inside a ring I had chosen for myself as a commitment to finish the book. That connection gave me a chill given that we had never met in person, and all of our design meetings took place over email and the telephone.

So as I think about the close of the first edition of Mojo Mom, it's been fun to look back at the steps I've taken to get here. And I am up to my eyeballs in ideas for the new book. The hardest part will be choosing a stopping point where I feel good about the book being done, because I always have more to say. Fortunately, I still have my website, blog and podcast to ensure that our conversation continues!

Last chance to get Mojo Mom, the original edition

I am writing like crazy this week but I don't know how much I'll be able to blog. My priorities are, #1 book revisions, #2 podcast, #3 blog.

...and if I make significant progress on #1 and 2 I will consider this week a success.

I wanted to get the word out that if you want to get the original, first edition of Mojo Mom you should order one as soon as possible. I'll direct you to Amazon.com as the easiest option.

The original book is going out of print and will be replaced by a brand new edition next spring, in time for Mother's Day 2009. The new edition from Gotham Books will be extensively revised and updated. The new book will be bigger and better than before, featuring writing from my blog and the latest developments in the motherhood movement. It really will be a new book. At the same time, I still stand by the original Mojo Mom and I'll always have a soft spot for it in my heart!

Thanks for the support that all my book and blog readers have given me. That's what has gotten me this far!