I've been in the hive not in a cave... And, here is why we need Courageous Parenting

It's Friday, again, already? Hard to believe. I know my blogging has suffered from infrequent-itis lately, but I wanted to tell you it's because I've been as busy as a bee in a hive, not hibernating like a bear in a cave.

What's been keeping me so busy behind the scenes? The new Courageous Parenting anthology, of course. I am working with 14 talented contributors, and now we've brought on board our intrepid editor Lacey, working with me and my loyal project manager Patty, to pull this whole thing together.

I am so grateful that I don't have to do any of this alone! Lacey and I are really getting into the heart of the book, working on individual chapters as well as creating a coherent whole.

I'll reveal the whole roster of contributors on Monday, but today I keep thinking about why we need Courageous Parenting. We live in a disproportionately fearful time, although our children and families are actually growing up in quite a safe era. We live in an overly child-centric society, yet our kids eventually need to grow up and become independent. They aren't just going to wake up as capable and competent young adults on their 18th birthdays: we need to give them skills and life experience to be prepared to be independent.

Courageous Parenting aims to give parents those skills and strategies they need to grow up independent kids, and also the courage to work on our own development. Because for our kids to feel good about leaving the nest, it helps to know that we have our own lives and are not totally dependent on motherhoood to create our identities and happiness.

I am a big fan of Sarah Haskins and her Current TV show Target Women. This week's parody is not only funny, it's a brilliant dissection of the way we are sold fear on a daily basis.



In Mojo Mom, I wrote about unpacking our guilt and examining it, looking for the true signals that indicate there is something we need to change, and discarding the rest as unhelpful baggage. It's time we do the same for worry and fear. True fear signals are vital signs to listen to, but our society has become overrun with a constant static blast of worry, much of it broadcast in the style of those Broadview Security ads in the Target Women video.

In Courageous Parenting, we aim to give you solid information, inspiration, and skills that will increase your family's capacity for joy and exploration, without so much worry getting in the way.

Sign up on the www.MojoMom.com home page to receive a free e-book of the new Courageous Parenting anthology when it comes out in early 2010!

Choosing hope over fear

I've been thinking a lot about the politics of fear versus the politics of hope lately.

Conservatives have kept the Amerian public on a short leash for years by controlling us with fear. Do it our way....or you and your children will get blown up (by the Russians, Saddam Hussein, Al Qaeda....).

I have noticed that Hillary Clinton is adopting the fear angle in her campaign as she sarcastically decries Obama's message of hope. It's not working well for her. On Tuesday, Jon Stewart made fun of Clinton's pessimism: join me in the chant now, "NO, WE CAN'T." It is a strange platform for a Democrat to run on.

Today Clinton has a new alarming ad out that I would have sworn was a John McCain ad until the final reveal:



This message perfectly illustrates what cognitive scientist George Lakoff said the other day about Clinton: she is actually using the conservative framework. She tries to win over "swing voters" by moving to the right or using the fear approach. Obama appeals to that group of people by identifying common ground that they share with progresssives and inviting them to work together on those issues.

The Democrat-in-Conservative-clothing approach is no longer working for me, and I don't think it can be effective in November. The people who want a Hawk candidate will already be voting for John McCain. On a practical and philosophical level I am yearing to see our country give Hope a chance.

I do not for a minute think that a hopeful stance will be an easy way out of our difficulties. On the contrary, it will demand a lot more participation and individual change (ie conserving oil) than the Bush approach. But after the last seven years we've been subjected to, aren't we as citizens willing to grow up and take responsibility for our government, rather than remaining scared and obedient little sheep?