Mojo Mom Podcast with Neat Freak Perri Kersh

Here's this week's episode of The Mojo Mom Podcast with guest "Neat Freak" Perri Kersh:

A few weeks ago, Sheryl was one of the first people to notice the YouTube video, David After Dentist, which has now been viewed over 13 million times! This week Amy & Sheryl discuss how our private lives go public, and viral videos take on lives of their own online, as evidenced by the profanity-laden mashup, Christian Bale Takes David to the Dentist.

Then Mojo Mom talks to professional organizer Perri Kersh. Perri's many interests seem to converge in new ways during this recession: she is Neat Freak Professional Organizer, author of the blog Enough is Enough, a founder of the Giving Party, and an expert on Fine Living Network's show Time Makeover. Perri and Amy talk about making the most of what we already have--relationships, values, and priorities as well as time and possessions.

Listen to the podcast now:

I lost 187 pounds today!

I lost 187 pounds today after the A Shred Ahead truck pulled up to my driveway. I had spent the equivalent of 12 people-hours going though my office, pulling out everything that I could let go of now that the new Mojo Mom is coming out in less than six weeks. All the drafts and questions that mattered along the way have now been decided, and the finished book is almost here.

So when you want to turn over a new page, it helps to get rid of the old work that might be weighing you down. I spent three hours working alongside a team of two organizers, and three hours on my own going through my files and sorting out what I didn't need.

Hello, clean office...now, even my dog wants to hang out here with me.


Now that the de-cluttering is done I have a feeling of incredible lightness, both mental and physical. My office is a much nicer place to be, and I can throw open the doors and windows to let the world see in. It's not perfect by any means, and I still have a follow-up date with my organizers, but it's a major improvement. When we were done, my joke was that Oprah could knock on my front door and I could invite her in to sit down for a cup of tea. She wouldn't be turning me in to Peter Walsh for the messiest house in America tour!

Since this issue is clearly on my mind, I invited Perri Kersh of Neat Freak Professional Organizing to be my guest on The Mojo Mom Podcast this week. I'll be posting that episode shortly.

Mojo Mom's braised-pork chipotle chili

Being a Mojo Mom means that you remain open to reviving old aspects of yourself you thought you'd left behind. When we first got married, Michael and I took a 13-week cooking class together, and we cooked a lot of really delicious, complicated food. But after becoming a Mom, I have to admit that I lost my cooking mojo for a long time. I even hired a cooking service to bring us meals once a week for the last six months of my major writing projects, so that at the end of the day I felt nurtured, too, instead of harried and overworked all the time.

But, you never know when those old sparks will reignite. I have been cooking more lately, and last weekend I took on the challenge of entering a friend's ninth-annual chili cookoff. I made it into a huge project, and even though I didn't know a lot about chili, I did know that I love braising, which is a way to slow-cook meat, and I love smoky chipotle peppers. So I Googled around for recipes with those ingredients, and I combined and adapted two to make my own creation. So thanks to The Constables' Larder for their Double Braised Pork Chili recipe, which I adapted to prepare the meat, and Cooking with Amy for her Chipotle Chili, which I used for guidance on the beans.

I loved the dish I created. The pork was so tender it came off the bone with just a fork, and it had the texture of North Carolina barbecue. The key is to make the pork flavorful even before mixing it with other chili ingredients. The chipotle peppers were not too spicy for my taste (this recipe may be too spicy for most kids though). I came in second place out of 25 entries at the cookoff, so I figured I had better write down this "prize-winning" recipe before I forget what I did!

Mojo Mom's braised pork chipotle chili

Step one: Braise the pork shoulder (the night before)

1 bone-in pork shoulder or butt (3 to 4 lbs.)
2 dried ancho chiles, seeds and stem removed
3 bay leaves
4 garlic cloves
2 tbsp salt
2 onions, chopped
1 yellow pepper, de-seeded and chopped
2 cups white wine (next time I'll try beer and see how that works)

Lightly salt and pepper the pork shoulder and brown it all over in in a large pan or dutch oven with a little olive oil. Let it cool a bit.

In a food processor, combine ancho chiles, bay leaves, salt and garlic and pulse until it is finely chopped. Rub the mixture all over the pork. In a clay pot cooker (pre-soaked in water) or oven-safe closed container, lay down a bed of onions and peppers. Put the pork on top, and pour in wine and enough water to cover the a third of the pork. Cover and put into a cold oven. Heat to 350 degrees for 30 minutes, then turn heat down to 300 degrees. Braise for 2-3 hours, turning the pork halfway through. You can turn the pork over one more time then turn off the oven before you go to bed, leaving the pork covered in the cooling oven overnight, and resume in the morning.

Step two: Make the chili--leave enough time for it to simmer for a couple of hours

Braised pork shoulder
reserved braising liquid
1 can pinto beans
2 cans white cannellini beans
6 slices thickly cut bacon
1 1/2 yellow onions, chopped
1 red onion, chopped
4 cloves garlic, crushed
2 28-oz cans crushed tomatoes
2-3 tbsp tomato paste
1 can sliced jalapenos
2 tbsp cumin
2 tbsp ground oregano
1 tbsp salt

1 can chipotle chiles in adobo sauce (you'll only use 2-3 chiles--they are hot!)

Remove the braised pork from the clay pot. With two forks, take the pork off the bone and shred into bite-sized pieces. Skim the fat off the braising liquid and reserve 1 to 2 cups.

In a Dutch oven on the stovetop, saute the bacon until almost crispy. Remove bacon from pan and turn off heat. (When the bacon has cooled, break or cut into bite-sized pieces.) Drain excess bacon fat from pan but leave about 1 tablespoon in it for your saute. On medium-low heat, saute the onions and garlic until almost translucent, then add the rest of the ingredients except the chipotles: beans, bacon, shredded pork, tomatoes (drain and reserve liquid from can for later fine-tuning), tomato paste, jalapenos to taste, and herbs.

To infuse the chipotle flavor: Take 1 chipotle at a time, de-seed it and cut it up. In a food processor (preferably a small one), mix 1 chipotle, 1 tbsp tomato paste, and about 1/2 cup reserved braising liquid. Liquefy this together. Add to simmering chili pot and taste. If you want it spicier, repeat with another chipotle. [I invented this part of the recipe and it worked really well. I figured the chipotle flavor would dissolve best in the fatty braising liquid, and having the chipotle carried in a larger volume of liquid would help distribute it evenly through the pot. Adjust the amount of tomato in this part to suit your taste.]

If you want a moister chili, add more reserved braising liquid and/or liquid from the crushed tomatoes. Simmer on low heat for several hours and adjust salt/spices as needed. Eat and enjoy!

***

The resulting chili was delicious. It was like a pork stew with a medium amount of sauce. I topped it with sour cream and paired it with a good Mexican beer.

The recipe was pretty easy to make but there was a fair amount of cleanup involved. But, even taking a huge pot to the cookoff, we had enough to last us from Saturday through Wednesday, so the effort paid off. It was a win all around--good food, friends and fun. My family even appreciated it!

Trying to comprehend kids as caregivers

I was emailing my colleague Paula Spencer this morning, talking about my experiences with caregiving and "Divorce, the Sequel" that has roared back onto the scene 25 years after the fact, as my two single parents head into retirement without partners. I wrote that caregiving has transformed the entire way I look at family and work. I had thought that there would be some mythical mellow period of time after my daughter was old enough to be independent, and before my parents needed elder care attention. In reality, as it turns out, there is always something going on in the family realm. Women, in particular, need to be prepared to juggle work and family our whole lives.

So there I was, feeling a little sorry for myself that I had so much responsibility before I had reached age 40, when I was confronted with today's New York Times story about children and young teens caring for their own parents.

Child caregivers. The very notion makes my head spin. While I feel strongly that children should be actively involved family members, they should not have to literally care for their parents and elders.

The Times article, In Turnabout, Children Take Caregiver Role, describes the heavy responsibility and role reversals:

Across the country, children are providing care for sick parents or grandparents — lifting frail bodies off beds or toilets, managing medication, washing, feeding, dressing, talking with doctors. Schools, social service agencies and health providers are often unaware of those responsibilities because families members may be too embarrassed, or stoic.

Some children develop maturity and self-esteem. But others grow anxious, depressed or angry, sacrifice social and extracurricular activities and miss — or quit — school.

What is it going to take to get us to wake up to caregiving in this country? I feel like we're headed toward a cliff at high speed, and we aren't even paying attention to what is right ahead of us. While sixty-something celeb-gurus like Suzanne Somers are writing books called The Sexy Years, and Slim and Sexy Forever, where do "the rest of us" turn to learn how to craft a meaningful reality with family members who are no longer young, rich, fabulous and as frisky and energetic as teenagers? There is a ton of potential but few guides to point the way.

I have resolved to take three steps. First, to explore Caring.com, where Paula Spencer is a founding editor. I am grateful to find these resources. Second, I am learning about the Divided We Fail campaign, a promising intergenerational effort to work for health care reform and long-term financial security. And finally, I am going to read Mother in the Middle, a neurobiologist's account of caring for her mother with Alzeheimer's disease while she was also caring for her own young family. I've been avoiding that kind of realistic memoir, which may be the honest guide I say I've been looking for.

This conversation will continue....

Triangle area: Girls on the Run Shop for a Cause event

If you are in the Triangle area, I hope you'll come out for the "Girls Night In Shop for a Cause" event at Nordstrom, benefiting Girls on the Run.

Girls on the Run enacts a mission of educating and "preparing girls for a lifetime of self-respect and healthy living" through groups that combine running and self-esteem education.

Last year I was the invited speaker at this event at Nordstrom, and it was really fun. This year I plan to attend as a guest, and I'll get to shop and sample the goodies this time.

The invited speaker this year is Pam Saulsby, WRAL Anchorwoman and Singer. Pam will speak and sing to the topic, "Finding the Joy in Yourself!"

The event will take place Sunday night, March 1, at the Nordstrom at the Streets at Southpoint in Durham. The party runs from 7:30 to 10:00 pm and the store is only open to this private event.

Tickets are $30, available online from Girls on the Run through February 25. You must buy ticket in advance; no tickets are sold at the door.

Nordstrom puts on a really nice party for this private shopping event to benefit this worthy cause. Get your girfriends together and come on out!

Mojo Mom at Quail Ridge Books, Thursday April 30

My first author event for the new Mojo Mom has been scheduled. I'll be speaking at Quail Ridge Books in Raleigh on Thursday evening, April 30th at 7:30 pm.

I hope you'll plan to come if you are in the area, and will tell friends who live in the Triangle about the event even if you live far away.

I've created an event announcement over at Facebook, so if you think you'll attend, I'd love it if you'd RSVP over there.

I don't just read from my book at author events. I really like to engage the audience in a dialogue. So I promise I'll do my best to create a fun and thoughtful Moms' Night Out that will help you recharge your mojo!

Official event info:

Hear Amy Tiemann as she presents MOJO MOM: NURTURING YOURSELF WHILE RAISING A FAMILY. Here's the guide for you, to juggling kids, life, and a mom's own needs. Learn how to come out feeling like you're at the top of your game! To request a signed or personalized copy, call 828-1588 or 1-800-672-6789 or contact orders@quailridgebooks.com (at least 48 hours in advance for email) to check availability.

Mojo Mom Podcast with The Balanced Mom

Listen in to this week's episode of The Mojo Mom Podcast:

Co-hosts Amy and Sheryl have the economic crisis is on their minds, and they'll continue to work to bring together resources to help Moms make it through our country's financial meltdown. Then Mojo Mom talks to Bria Simpson about her work as The Balanced Mom coach. Listen in to hear Bria's thoughts about Moms returning to work, and her Brilliance in Motherhood Retreats, including a special offer for Mojo Mom Podcast listeners.

Listen to the podcast now:



Featured on this week's show:

Facebook opens new avenues for connecting with Mojo Mom fans

I was a reluctant Facebook convert, but I've really been grooving on the Mojo Mom Page I have been able to put together over there.

"Pages" are a little different than personal "Profiles." The Mojo Mom Page allows me to connect with my website and book fans, and Pages are viewable by the public so you don't need a Facebook account to see it.

As someone who has invested a great deal of time and money to develop MojoMom.com over the years, it's amazing to see the features that the Facebook page offers. I can post brief thoughts on my wall, photos, video and upcoming events.

The two best thing so far are first, that I can post links to web stories are interesting, but I might not ever have time to blog about; and second, seeing my community of fans develop is like having my blog talking back to me. I like seeing everyone and I love reading your comments on my wall.

So to say thank you, I will be doing several Mojo Mom giveaways through this page as we approach my Mojo Mom book release on April 7th. If you become a fan you'll be eligible for all of my upcoming drawings.

Check it out, and I hope you'll become a fan!

How is the economic crisis impacting you?

America has the economic crisis seared into it collective consciousness right now. And Moms are impacted greatly--whether it means you have to go back to work to make ends meet, recover from a layoff, or discover your kids' college fund just lost 30% of its value.

I'll be following this issue here on the Mojo Mom blog as events unfold. My question for today is to ask how specifically is the economic crisis is impacting your family, and what information would best help you get through this difficult time? I will be working on creating resources over the next several weeks.

I'd love to hear creative solutions as well. Necessity is the mother of invention for a reason. We are often the ones who have to figure out which knobs to tweak to make it all work for our families.

For example, my friend Perri Kersh came up with an awesome approach to creating a free summer camp program while still working four days a week. Perri is so creative that I'd love to attend her Girl Camp! Read more on Perri's Enough is Enough blog:

GIRL POWER CAMP 2009!
Invite 5 girls to participate (helps if they know each other at least a little so they’re excited to spend a week together). Ask each mom to take all 5 girls for just one day during a week of the summer. Plan fun activities (bookclub, journal writing, a compliments box where the girls can write nice things about each other, pool time, outside play time, craft activities, cooking…whatever you’re in the mood for), and you’re off and running. I am in love with this idea. It’s creative, keeps the girls moving, builds on their self esteem and a sense of community, and it’s FREE!

We’re doing one week of Girl Power camp this summer as an experiment. My daughter is already so excited–it’s like a week of playdates–what’s not to love? Plus, it provides me with 4 work days where I don’t have to arrange or pay for childcare. In this economy, what could be better? And as a super summer bonus, I can channel my inner camp counselor…but just for one day. Almost makes me excited about summer again.

Challenges, opportunities, problems, solutions. I am interested in hearing them all. My podcast co-host Sheryl Grant commented that she's dying to talk about this with friends but it's a sensitive topic to bring up. This is one converstation that might be most satisfying to share online.

The movie Coraline reminded me of....

Just saw the new movie Coraline with several 8-to-10 year old girls. It was amazing but freaky. It features many themes that are potentially disturbing for any age. It gets down to the basics of what happens if your parents ignore you and you decide to run away...what if your fantasy Mom turns into a monster...and for me, what is the nature of an evil, suffocating mother.

The movie was brilliant. The stop-motion animation was breathtaking. I'd say that whether it's too scary for a child depends on the child's temperament and sensitivity rather than age. This intense, thoughtful movie is meant to be challenging.

Dakota Fanning's vocal performance combined with the animation nailed the character of a disgruntled tween girl. Loved her convincing Michigan accent.

Here are the things that Coraline reminded me of:

The Wizard of Oz
The Nightmare Before Christmas
The Spiderwick Chronicles
The Ring (the super-creepy Japanese horror film. Just a little cross-over there but significant to me.)
The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe
Desperate Housewives (Terri Hatcher is the voice of the Mom, and the more evil she gets, the more she looks like a character from Desperate Housewives.)

and, the real-life case of Nadya Suleman, mother to octuplets + 6. I kept thinking about her when they explored the psychology of the perfect/evil Other Mother.

Octuplet Mom is a one-woman Mommy War

A large part of me has been trying hard to stay away from the story of Nadya Suleman, new Mom of octuplets in the crazy babies-make-14 case. She's a one-woman Mommy War, an easy target for criticism. I admit I have felt very judgmental about her situation, which has stirred up disbelief and anger that someone would endanger her self, her new babies' health, and her existing six children's quality of life. I've decided to take the plunge and address the comments she made today in her interview with Ann Curry.

In the facts of the case, what she has done is at the very least highly unsustainable. A single Mom by choice to 6 + 8 kids, with no income, living with her parents. She says she'll support her kids financially once she finishes school, but in the meantime it has been reported that her father will go back to Iraq to work as a translator to earn money. That in itself breaks my heart.

The Today Show broadcast the first part of Ann Curry's interview with Suleman, who described the emptiness in her life she was trying to fill up with children:

“Describe what you felt you lacked within,” Curry said.

“Feeling of self and identity,” Suleman replied. “I didn't feel as though, when I was a child, I had much control of my environment. I felt powerless. And that gave me a sense of predictability. Reflecting back on my childhood, I know it wasn't functional. It was pretty dysfunctional, and whose isn't?”

You can't fill a gaping hole in your identity with children! You should not try to! Our children are not here to save us. This is obsession--if six children did not fill that hole, how will adding to the brood help? Ironically, now she will have fame, if not fortune (but probably that, too in the form of someone's idea of a reality show), knocking on her door, which is a very dangerous game to invite into your family's life.

I am a proponent of reproductive rights and I really hope that Suleman finds a way to beat the odds and do well as a mother of fourteen children ages 7 and younger. (Though how that could be possible is almost beyond the imagination. You'd have to travel by bus just to leave the house. I can't imagine them all going out at the same time--there would always have to be a caregiver at home. The huge Duggar family is spaced out over about twenty years, so that the older kids can help take care of the younger siblings.)

The medical ethics here are off the charts. The conversation about mega-multiples is finally turning away from "medical miracle" to "medical malpractice." I hope the fertility industry is going to find itself regulated sooner rather than later as a result of this case.

I don't want to see us all dump on Suleman in thoughtless ways. I'm disturbed to hear that she's received death threats. When we see a case this extreme, what are the implications of judging, or witholding judgment? Will my feminist credentials be yanked if I say that common sense tells me that this woman's situation is totally crazy and misguided? What does our reaction to Suleman teach us about ourselves?

If anyone has a fresh lens with which to look at this situation, please comment.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Mojo Mom Podcast with Mom-in-Chief Jamie Woolf

I have had the pleasure of getting to know Jamie Woolf as a fellow motherhood author. We even had a chance to hang out recently in Berkeley, as you can see here, with Jamie proudly cradling the advance reader copy of her new book Mom-in-Chief, which was released this week.

Jamie's book helps busy parents bring the leadership skills they learned in the workplace back home, to adapt and apply those skills to family life. I love several things about her writing: Mom-in-Chief is a book about parents as much as it is about kids; Jamie is very supportive, non-judgmental, and goes out of her way not to pile on Mommy Guilt; and her ideas are fresh and useful. Also, Mom-in-Chief really honors the skills that parents acquire at their careers, as well as the work they do at home. In my opinion, working Moms still often get criticized when they should be supported. Jamie builds them up without tearing anyone else down.

Mom-in-Chief is aimed at Moms, but I think that many a business-minded Dad would appreciate it, too. It's a solid, well-researched leadership book, and Jamie writes in a way that could reach some men who would only reluctantly pick up a parenting book. I plan to share it with my husband!

Jamie is my guest this week on The Mojo Mom Podcast. We talk about all this, and also how it felt to have Michelle Obama embrace the title "Mom-in-Chief" for herself.

Listen in to find out how to enter our upcoming Mojo Mom Podcast drawings, which will include two copies of Mom-in-Chief awarded on February 13, and an iPod Nano on March 7. Enter once and you'll be eligible for all our upcoming prize drawings, leading up to the release of the new edition of Mojo Mom on April 7.

You can learn more about Jamie's work through her Mom-in-Chief website.

Defending Facebook's 25 Things About Me meme

If you are on Facebook, you've definitely run into the "25 Random Things About Me" meme by now. Now the media had decided to start bashing it (Time.com calls it 25 Things I Didn't Want to Know About You) and much to my surprise, I am here to defend it!

I am skeptical about most things that originate on Facebook, but here's why this meme worked for me.

1. It is a meme, not an application. It's just an idea--write a note containing 25 things about yourself, and tag 25 friends in that note. There is no third party application involved other than Facebook itself.

2. It didn't come into my email inbox. Everyone hates spam, but I also have a very low tolerance for forwarded emails of any kind, even ones that are well-meaning. If I am in my email inbox, I am most likely trying to work. When I go on Facebook, I am looking for a little brea, a planned interruption. There is a huge difference between having fun stuff pushed at me versus seeking it out.

3. I was sent this message by people whom I am genuinely friends with. A whole bunch of them started doing it and it generated a fun sense of community.

4. My friends must have good taste. Generally speaking, they didn't overshare with personal details. The only weird thing that happened for me occurred when an old friend wrote something about me in his 25 Things list.

5. Even though I was only technically sharing it with friends, my filter writing this was not to put anything I wouldn't want to see published in The New York Times. Good thing, because now the Times is now reporting on it, too. Extra good thing since I realized later I had set my privacy settings to make that part of my profile visible to "my networks" which included 300,000 people in Raleigh/Durham. Whoops.

6. I love finding out about my friends' hidden talents. I recommend this type of icebreaker in The Mojo Mom Party Kit, and the Facebook meme had that same vibe. I found out new things about people whom I have known for a long time.

7. It helps to have a sense of humor about the whole thing. It's not high art or rocket science.

I'll stop at seven things today...you didn't expect me to go all the way to 25, did you?

How did you react to the 25 Things meme? Was it fun? Did you learn anything interesting? Has it jumped the shark yet?

Hitting the gym, and my first responsibility-free vacation in 10 years

To write the new Mojo Mom, I had to chain myself to my computer for nine months. That got the book done, but the problem is now that I don't want to present it to the world looking like someone who has been sitting at her desk for the better part of a year. Getting my appendix out in September meant that I couldn't exercise strenuously for about eight weeks. I know many people who broke that rule and did fine, but I also know some who pushed it and got really sick, so I decided to take it seriously.

But now I have to go from cubicle jockey/couch potato to Mojo Mom, and I have to say getting my engines revving is an important part of getting my mojo back. I am starting out by walking, then playing tennis, and I am finally reluctantly hitting the exercise machine. I also realized I have to put down the potato chips--bad Super Bowl habit!

My husband is out of town, which means I am walking our dog four times a day myself. A little mandatory self-improvement plan. Our active canine fuzzball is an important member of our family, and the only piece of exercise equipment you can't leave in the closet.

For me, I am finding that a life of balance means balance over the long run. I am accustomed to seasons of intense creative work punctuated by seasons focused more on family life. I feel very fortunate to have a career and a family who enable me to go back and forth between the two.

And yesterday I found out that I will have my first responsibility-free vacation in ten years! My daughter will be attending a week-long summer camp, and I will be nearby at my favorite retreat with other family members, but without my husband or daughter, for a whole week. This is the special summer place where I could spend hours on the dock alternating between reading a book and swimming. To be honest, I am a little afraid that I have lost that part of my being. I don't know what I'll do with myself for that much free time. I hope I will connect with my writing muse, as free exploration and not work. It will be really interesting to see what comes up.

Believe me, I am not complaining. I don't want the rest of the family to think they have to put me to work around the house!

My book is finished!

Imagine that you are a senior in college, graduating in an off semester. You finish your exams, mail in some term papers, and wait. You aren't sure if your professors have finished grading your work, or might ask for a rewrite. There's no graduation ceremony, but one day you ask the registrar the status of your degree and she says you've graduated.

That's sort of what it has been like to finish the new (forthcoming) Mojo Mom. We went through so many rounds of revisions and proofreading that the words eventually swam before my eyes. I thought there might be one more round of proofs, but I just found out that I am done!

So, there's no pomp and circumstance yet--we'll save that for the April 7 pub date. Today it's just me doing a happy dance, and going back to look at the rest of my life, which has been more than a little bit neglected as I raced toward my manuscript deadline. I have to admit that it's overwhelming to look at the "home" work that has accumulated. I definitely need to read Jack Kornfield's book After the Ecstasy, the Laundry. I have piles of laundry, filing, mail, and unread books staring me in the face. Lots of potential to explore and lots of chaos to unravel.

I am definitely burned out and trying to find my way back to myself as soon as possible. There are all sorts of juicy motherhood stories in the blogosphere right now, but I haven't caught the writing spark this week. I am getting on track with creating new episodes of The Mojo Mom Podcast, which feels like a great start.

And I am especially grateful for today's thought from the Mojo Mom Quote-A-Day widget, from one of my favorite Zen teachers, Cheri Huber:



[The widget moves on, but the February 2 quote said, "Be kinder to yourself than you think you should be."]

I selected all of the widget's quotes, so theoretically they shouldn't surprise me, but it does delight me each morning to see the new thought of the day. I can never resist clicking on it. Maybe that means that the seeds of my wonder and curiosity are still in here somewhere!