Mojo Mom Chapter 2: Life Inside the Cocoon, the Early Months of Motherhood

The second chapter of Mojo Mom delves into the early months of motherhood from the mother's perspective. My goal was to fill in the details that some of the baby books leave out or gloss over. This is the one chapter of the book that is geared specifically for the needs of new Moms. Experienced Moms can read along or skip ahead to Chapter 3.

Here's a secret about Mojo Mom: it's a very positive, friendly book that makes a nice gift for any new Mom, and I also made sure to cover postpartum depression, sex after the baby arrives, and other problems and issues that can be awkward to talk about. So you can give the book to any new Mom, and whether she's having a great time, or really needs support, there will be resources right there for her.

The early weeks and months of motherhood are a truly intense time. My advice is to go with the flow at the beginning, enjoy your nesting time, and then begin to think about crafting a sustainable long-term parenting style, one that will inevitably evolve over the coming months and years. Seasoned Moms will tell you that as soon as you have figured one stage out, a whole new plane of development is usually just around the corner.

New for this edition, I really worked to improve my outreach to both employed Moms and women who take a longer break away from the paid workforce. I did new research and interviews with 55 women in a variety of situations to explore our common ground and the specific kinds of support that women needed when they returned to paid careers in addition to their mothering.

The consensus about personal support lifelines included basic physical needs, including sleep, good food, and exercise; mental needs for some time alone to think, read or meditate; and social needs including time to play with their kids, adult time with their partners, and friends.

I love "Mothering the Mother" books, and here are some of my favorite resources for the intense early days of motherhood:

Mothering the New Mother: Women’s Feelings and Needs After Childbirth by Sally Placksin

I Wish Someone Had Told Me: A Realistic Guide to Early Motherhood by Nina Barrett

This Isn’t What I Expected: Overcoming Post-Partum Depression by Karen Kleiman and Valerie Davis Raskin

I am a motherhood expert, rather than a parenting expert, but I know that sleep is the Holy Grail for new parents, and this book is a keeper:

The Sleep Book for Tired Parents: Help for Solving Children’s Sleep Problems by Becky Huntley

Finally, guides for Moms to stay happy in the long run, either returning to work or creating a satisfying life as a stay-at-home Mom for now:

The Milk Memos by Cate Colburn-Smith and Andrea Serrette

This Is How We Do It: The Working Mothers’ Manifesto by Carol Evans

The Working Mother’s Guide to Life by Linda Mason

The Stay-at-Home Survival Guide: Field-Tested Strategies for Staying Smart, Sane, and Connected While Caring for Your Kids by Melissa Stanton

Mojo Mom Podcast talks about "Parenting, Inc."

Do you ever wonder how mega-superstores filled with endless aisles of baby gear came about?

Listen to the new Mojo Mom Podcast interview with Parenting, Inc. author Pamela Paul to find out.

Pamela has researched the entire universe of baby gear, classes, and the whole lifestyle that is marketed to new parents.

There is a ton of unnecessary stuff out there, but I couldn't resist asking Pamela for some of the resources and products that she thinks are effective, worthwhile investments.

Here's what Pamela Paul recommends for parents confronted with a perpetually unhappy sleepless little babe:

* First, to consult a sleeping coach. My personal favorites are based in LA but can do phone conferences anywhere. Check out Sleepyplanet.com.

* Second would be a very good lactation consultant, IBCLCE certified

* And third would be a Miracle Blanket.

Thanks to Pamela for those recommendations. I was amazed by the video on the Miracle Blanket site. A wiggly newborn gets securely swaddled in the blanket, and she sure looks happy at the end.

I would have never believed how obsessed I could get about sleep until I had a newborn. We struggled mightily during the early months with our fussy baby. I still don't know exactly what "colic" is, but I am pretty sure she fit the bill. Her developing nervous system was on jangly overdrive much of the time, especially during the evening "Witching Hours." She did grow out of it, but it took us long time to get a good night's sleep for all of us.

I second Pamela's recommendation of lactation consultants, and would suggest a new Mom or new parent class as well. You can often find lactation consultantsand classes offered by local hospitals or birth centers and it generally does not matter whether you actually had your baby there or not.

I also recommned The Sleep Book for Tired Parents (an older book but one of the few to give an overview of several approaches) and Dr. Marc Weissbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.

There are other newer resources out there that I have not personally tried. Please share your favorite fussy newborn resources in the comments section.