Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Friendship homework

Here is some Mojo Mom friendship homework for this week:

Think of the friend who is always there for you, perhaps always there for everyone. She is the one who remembers birthdays, brings cakes, organizes parties. She might do this for the classroom, her neighbors and friends, as well as her family. She is extraordinarily responsible; she always seems to have it together, and she is always there to lend a hand, no matter how busy things get.

When she's giving to others, how many of those others think to give back to her; to wonder how she is doing, and what might else might be going on in her life?

So think of this friend, really hold her in your mind, and send her good wishes. Then pick up the phone and call her. You might say, "I know you have a lot going on right now and I was just wondering how you are doing." And see what happens from there.

I will admit that there are days that I just wish someone would say, "Amy, how are you? What can I do for you right now?" It happens sometimes, but I wish it happened more. I think even having that question asked would be wonderful. I may not need anything "done" but just to know that someone thought to ask would come as a nice surprise. The caregiving tide seems to flow outward on most days, as is the case with many women. This gift of attention, of noticing how other women are doing, and that they need support too, is something we can give each other.

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4 Comments:

Blogger Karen Maezen Miller said...

Amy, truer words never written. How are you? What can I do for you right now? (I just ordered postcards for the Mother's Summer Reading Salon, and asked for a VIP tour of the historic Gamble House while you're here.) Everything is coming up paradise, and there are at least 2 friends here who can't wait to meet 2 more.

10:47 PM  
Blogger MojoMom said...

Hi Karen, thanks for asking! It does feel really good to hear those words.

(My husband asked me what he could do for me last night after I wrote this...didn't know if he'd read the blog but either way, I will take it!)

I am tired, burned out, back down to the lowest rung of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Maybe it's wrong to think of it as a hierarchy though, which is easy to label as failure when you drop to the bottom. Maybe it's just getting back to basics. I do feel the stirrings of new ideas developing, which I will share with you when we get together in June. Can't wait to see you!

8:11 AM  
Blogger Karen Maezen Miller said...

It's the first rung. So easy to forget, and yet life without isn't alive. The dragonflies will greet you.

11:15 AM  
Blogger PunditMom said...

Thank you for this wonderful reminder!

2:42 PM  

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