Tuesday, August 18, 2009

What is your defining question?


This summer I really had to take some time off to bounce back from the burnout I felt after the new Mojo Mom had been released. It had been such an intense year, when I had to push forward no matter what, to meet my book deadlines. Once I crossed the finish line, including dozens of interviews to launch the book, my mind and body went a little numb.

So this summer I slowed way down and gave myself the luxury of pondering the defining question, "What do I want?" At first I just wanted to rest! Then I allowed myself a good long time to consider different potential sources of inspiration.

Those thoughts are still with me, but they are now coalescing around a second defining question, "What am I willing to commit to?" That's a serious one, as I don't want to spread myself too thinly and I don't want to make promises I can't keep.

When I am ready to share big news this fall, I will announce it first through my e-newsletter, so I hope you will sign up on MojoMom.com to receive the newsletter and Mojo Mom Party Kit.

I am curious to find out what is your defining question right now. As you face transition, whether it is back to school, off to school for the first time, kids leaving for college, new job, new interest, or milestone birthday, is there one question that is helping point you toward your next step?

If you need a gentle nudge to take a step back and look at your life, I highly recommend Natalie Angier's article in today's New York Times, Brain Is a Co-Conspirator in a Vicious Stress Loop. It sounds scary, but it boils down to the necessity of giving yourself a chance to stop digging deeper when you find yourself in a rut!

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7 Comments:

Blogger adena said...

My one-and-only child is turning 10 tomorrow. I am getting over 6 months of treatment for breast cancer, and figuring out what it means to be a "survivor." I'm trying to figure out how to make my work more meaningful in relation to the person that I now am after this crazy year. So, I guess I am in transition. Hadn't really thought of it that way, Amy. Thanks for asking the question.

3:17 PM  
Blogger MojoMom said...

Adena, all my best to you and your continued health!

My daughter is also turning 10 this summer. It really is a significant turning point. I can see so many things coming over the horizon for her.

3:25 PM  
Blogger Patty Ayers said...

My best to you, Adena, as well, in answering that big question. As for me, I've made huge changes in my life over the past year, moving to a foreign country, and I'm very happy with the life that I've created. Lots of people ask me some version of "Why?", and I feel like I have the answers somewhere inside, but I haven't been good at verbalizing them yet. So maybe that's my question: "Why am I happy with this? What is it about it that works so well for me?"

3:40 PM  
OpenID realrellim said...

Well, I'm 7-1/2 weeks pregnant, suffering from hyperemesis gravidarum (again), and trying to just take things day-by-day for the time being. The decision to try for this child was difficult, as I just defended my Ph.D. in December and felt like I was finally ready to get on with my life. I suspected that being pregnant would incapacitate me again (I was sick throughout my daughter's pregnancy 5 years ago), and indeed, I recently turned down the opportunity to teach an evening course that I love to teach because I don't have the energy.

I'm trying to remind myself that this is temporary and that in a matter of months, I can get on with my career too (and maybe this child will actually sleep some this time around!).

2:13 AM  
Blogger kivey105 said...

I work full time at a job I hate and my son starts kindergarten next fall. I am trying to figure out what kind of mom I want to be to my soon to be school aged son.

I am trying to build a real estate and mortgage business while maintaining by full time job (I know, my timing stinks). The thought is that by being my own boss I will be available both before and after school.

Working 6-7 days a week and not getting to bed until after midnight some nights, just to get up at 5:30 and start all over is exhausting. There are days I wonder if it's really worth all this. I am making decent progress but it is slow and hard.

10:13 PM  
Blogger Kristin said...

Well being a mom of 2 small ones, they are 19 months apart the question I read a few days ago still makes me think and gave me a huge reason to think is "how do you define success"? I usually say just being happy, but now w/the kids, that's just not good enough. I want to be so much more for them, just "happy" will never be enough now. And you know what that's good, one thing, even though big in of itself, should never be enough.

9:53 AM  
Anonymous JulieM said...

I am 4 weeks away from the due date of my 3rd child. My oldest starts kindergarten in a few weeks and my middle son is 4. It has been a really busy 5 years, but I have managed to find a nice "balance" between my part time job, being a mom, and being myself.

I am very excited for the 3rd child - and I think my question right now is "How/when will I find this nice spot again - where I don't feel pulled in a million directions and can just enjoy the moment?" I know it will be awhile, so I am preparing mentally to be all over the place - but sure will be nice when I can reach this space again...

11:55 AM  

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